Nicola Slawson is single, and she wants you to know that she is, most certainly, not unhappy. However, three years ago, the Shrewsbury, England-based journalist had a startling revelation — pop culture and media are squarely aimed at a very specific kind of single person, regardless of age or sexual orientation. Namely: someone who is desperately searching for a partner.
“A lot of the stuff out there for single people was assuming that you were desperate and miserable, or it was solely about dating,” she recalls. “At the time, I wasn’t really dating. I was just living. Why is everything saying this? I don’t feel miserable and desperate. I’m not currently dating. I’m just enjoying myself.”
Slawson saw the gap in the market for singles as a personal challenge, one that led to the creation of her newsletter, The Single Supplement. Named for the ridiculous cruise line practice of charging solo travelers extra to “fill” rooms meant for two people, the publication is a celebration of single life rather than a guide for how to escape it.
Through personal essays — such as the newsletter’s most-read edition on feeling invisible as a single person in a big city — and practical explainers like how to ask for help, The Single Supplement explores the deep and varied experience of living life without a romantic partner. Slawson has even featured people currently in relationships who have reflected on what they miss the most about being single, a viewpoint she felt was important to explore despite it being slightly controversial with readers. Ultimately, whatever Slawson decides to put in her newsletter, her goal is to empower subscribers by taking a nuanced approach to the topic and not just adding noise to a marketplace.
“I hate the idea that just because you’re single, it means you’re in a waiting room,” Slawson says. “And as soon as you find someone, then magically everyone can stop worrying about you. It’s just kind of annoying, and it also held me back because I would do things like not go on certain holidays because I always thought I’d go there with a future partner. You shouldn’t live your life like that! Life is short, and while you can sometimes be sad about being single or find things difficult or stressful, we should all be living our life in the best way that we can.”
While Slawson started the newsletter feeling comfortable with her status as a single person, creating content on the subject for three years hasn’t been without its surprises. In a world where being single, or even choosing to remain single, can be seen as a statement, almost any topic can be explored through the lens of relationships. And with more than 11,000 readers giving their weekly support, she’s been able to open up about personal experiences that she never thought she’d share publicly.
“When I first started, I never thought I would write about wanting to be a mom, for example,” she says. “Over time, I realized that it was actually something a lot of my readers were grappling with. And I had the platform, and I just felt a lot braver, suddenly having the newsletter. It really raised my confidence. And so, I’m happy talking about those kinds of really painful things. And that really helps people who are struggling with the same thing. I’ve also written things which may have taken some readers by surprise, like how much I love weddings. I think there’s a stereotype that if you’re a long-term single, it must mean that you are anti-romance. So, I’ve written about how I’m actually a big romantic.”
While Slawson is hesitant to point to The Single Supplement as a sole source of change, there have been wins in the last few years. Slawson has been featured multiple times as an expert on the BBC, discussing the financial costs of being single. The newsletter won an award at Newsletter Fest for Best Niche Newsletter. The corresponding Facebook community now has almost 3,000 members. And while she still can’t talk about it other than with a perfunctory “I’m excited,” there’s another related forthcoming project she’s hoping to reveal soon. But most of all, Slawson is just thankful that she’s been given the opportunity to shift the conversation while providing other people with a touch point to describe their own experiences.
“I have also noticed a difference, because I’m read by a lot of newspaper and magazine editors,” she says. “And they told me that they now consider making sure they include someone single when they’re interviewing people. Which means so much to me because that’s the reason I wanted to start it in the first place. Because I was sick of reading articles that just assumed every person was coupled up. And now I see so many articles where instead of saying, ‘With your partner,’ it will be like, ‘If you have a partner.’ Just little things like that. I feel like I have made some changes that have helped. Other people have started writing more about this topic as well, which is great. I love it. The more, the merrier.”
Laura Studarus is a Los Angeles-based travel writer who has contributed to Fast Company, BBC Travel, and Thrillist.
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