We need beauty — it lifts our spirits, revitalizes our imaginations, and soothes us. Beauty, both internal and external, can be a healing force in our lives, so we’re bringing you a series of stories that examine the ever-changing role of beauty — in our personal lives and in society, and how this impacts us individually and collectively.
“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” — Coco Chanel
In March 2021, during Women’s History Month, Peloton instructor Tunde Oyeneyin appeared on her loyal riders’ screens with a new look. Her normally long hair was gone, and, in its place, Oyeneyin was rocking an entirely shaved head. Here, she explains what went into the decision and the strength she’s felt since her transformation.
My hair journey has included styles from braids to silky straight weaves, Afro puffs, and, up until recently, I’ve rocked goddess faux locs. Recently, I debuted a new look. I completely shaved my hair off, and it has been a wildly liberating experience. Now, I call myself a short-haired vixen.
Cutting my hair off was something I’ve wanted to do for more than 20 years. I’ve always been fascinated by women who wear their hair short. I thought that women with short hair exuded so much confidence. I remember when I was 17 years old, I said to myself, when I’m 35, married, and I have children, I’m going to cut my hair off. I figured that by that time I’d be filled with enough confidence to do it. The same confidence that exuded from the women I admired who had short hair.
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And so, I did it. I’m not married nor do I have children, but it was time. I’m 35 years old, and, when the moment came to cut my hair, I immediately recalled my teen self who said, “When I’m 35, I’m going to be confident enough to finally do it.” I called it. I knew that at 35 I would be here. I would arrive at this moment, and I would be so comfortable and confident with myself that I would finally be able to do something that I’ve always wanted to do.
After cutting my hair, the most important thing I learned is that I do exactly what I want to do. My inner circle said go for it, but the world often delivers a different message. Society tells us that we are more feminine with long hair. It also tells us that we are beautiful when we are able to have hair that we can play up and change. As a woman who is very muscular, my initial hesitation in removing all my hair stemmed from the fact that I felt like I would lose my femininity. I felt like I would look less like a woman. But I did it, and the wild thing is, since my big chop, I’ve had moments when I’ve felt more feminine than ever before.
I thought I’d have to wear more makeup and wear earrings to feel more like a woman, but nowadays I actually wear less makeup. I’ve been really learning to love myself for real. Let me explain what that means. When you shave your head, there’s nothing to hide behind. For example, when I used to feel tired or if one eye was sagging and the other one’s not awake, I could snatch my hair up in a high ponytail, and I feel awake and alert. With no hair, you can’t cover yourself. You can’t cover your face or your mood. Everyone can see you, clearly. With that, there’s a vulnerability. But I am learning to love myself even more in this incredibly vulnerable state.
When you make a drastic change in your appearance, people’s perception of you can sometimes change. I’m sure there are people out there who question why I did what I did. They’ll say that I looked much better before. But those are their opinions, and their opinion of me is for them, not me. I think that, because of the confidence I feel within me, people see that. They feel it. I think people know, for a woman to cut her hair off, that she’s got to be in an okay place to do it.
And I think that’s also why it took me so long to arrive at this moment. For many years, I struggled with my own self-confidence. I was consumed by thoughts about how people saw me. It’s been quite a journey to get to where I am today, and I’m so proud to say that I’ve never been more confident than I am right now.
For other women who are thinking about doing a big chop, don’t look for validation from other people. You always have to realize what’s best for you and your life. I’ve never led my life based on what other people think about me, and neither should you. Where will my hair journey take me from here? Well, as my hair grows out, it allows me the chance to play with new styles and different hair colors. I’ve never been a blonde, but at this point I told myself that since I already cut my hair, there’s nothing that I can’t do to it.
So, I did it — I went blonde. It’s fun, there’s an energy to it, and I love rocking another new look. And who knows what I might do next? But, whatever it is, I know I have the power of my choice, the power to change on my own terms, and the power to live confidently and happily with however I choose to look in this world.
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