“[This season was] really exciting for me because I had a baby!” gushes Katie Lowes about having her second child while also hosting Katie’s Crib, the hit Shondaland Audio podcast now debuting its fourth season. “It all felt incredibly fresh and incredibly vulnerable because I got to experience pregnancy, labor, a newborn all over again. It’s amazing how mom-brain makes you forget all of that stuff from your first pregnancy to your second.”
Premiering in April 2018, Katie’s Crib set out to create a bullshit-free zone for parents (mostly mommies, let’s be honest) where people could learn facts about and for their children, hear real stories about parenthood, and, in general, laugh and cry a little bit through the roller coaster of it all.
This season, Lowes is back at it, interviewing celebs, experts, and friends alike about motherhood. Season four also finds her focusing on the tools of how to handle a toddler, how to handle siblings, and how to manage self-care. Lowes also opens up about her own struggles with postpartum depression and anxiety after the birth of her daughter, Vera.
“There’s just something about women sharing their experiences that will always help you find something that you didn’t know before,” says Lowes, whose son, Albee, is three years old, while daughter Vera is five months. “Or you’ll find humor on a day where you really need a laugh, or you’ll simply connect. We’re still really isolated right now; moms are really isolated. And we’re hopefully seeing some light at the end of the tunnel, but kids haven’t even been vaccinated yet, so we’re still in these sorts of lonely, scary times. I just hope that Katie’s Crib season four can provide this sense of community, of friendship, and a damn good time while they’re at it.”
On this season, Katie’s Crib will see guests like Emily Oster, who Lowes says is “the end-all-be-all for Covid facts”; comedian Michelle Buteau; How to Get Away With Murder alum Aja Naomi King; James Van Der Beek’s wife, Kimberly Van Der Beek, who has five children — “I do not understand how she survives a day”; and, in the first episode of the season, singer-actress Katharine McPhee Foster, who recently gave birth to a son, Rennie.
Lowes will also have an episode focusing on her birth story with her doula and her husband, Adam Shapiro. She’ll speak with Dan Siegel, co-author of No-Drama Discipline and The Whole-Brain Child, and Betsy Brown Braun, a go-to for Lowes given that her book Just Tell Me What to Say has a quick-read format that’s not some 500-page-long dissertation on parenting.
As Lowes kicks off season four — timed specially to coincide with Mother’s Day in the U.S. — we chat with the mom of two about her goals for the podcast, what it’s like being a mom (again), and her bout with postpartum depression and anxiety.
And if you haven't already, get caught up on previous seasons of Katie's Crib and catch all-new episodes by subscribing on Apple, iHeart, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts.
VALENTINA VALENTINI: Understandably, going from one child to two is different. But, like, how?
KATIE LOWES: One plus one does not equal two; one plus one equals 11. I was more challenged than I’ve ever been in terms of the mommy space. So, I really was able to use this platform and Katie’s Crib to get the help that I needed, which I think will translate to helping a lot of other moms. But, yeah, it’s completely different. It’s so hard. Even though I have what some might call an easier second baby — in that she sleeps really well, she’s not colicky, she’s very easygoing in her spirit — but going from zero kids to one kid is such an identity shift for you, and that’s what’s hard about it. Going from one to two kids is logistically just way harder in terms of time management; there are two of them, and one of you, and everything is just amplified.
VV: Did you have any different or new goals for this season?
KL: In all honesty, I don’t think I did my due diligence on a few subjects in the first three seasons, and we cover those way more this time. We spend a lot of time on postpartum depression, siblings, and behavior. My son is three-and-a-half now, and I think that a lot of these episodes will be valuable for anyone who has a 2- to 10-year-old because we deal with a lot of discipline and real-life stuff that is not so pretty. Having a toddler is incredibly challenging, no matter what temperament your toddler has. It’s a super-emotional time, and they’re learning things and boundaries for the first time but also having no rational thought. It’s basically like you’re dealing with an insane human being at all times, no matter what the temperament of your child is. So I want to give our listeners the tools of how to handle a toddler, how to handle siblings, and how to manage self-care.
VV: Last time we spoke, it was right around the height of being locked down. Now that things are slowly opening up again, what is the sentiment you’re hearing from moms?
KL: We’ve all been through and are still going through a collective trauma. It’s anti-human to sit alone in your house, and, as a mom, well, that is not the type of mommy-ing that I signed up for. I signed up for the mommy-ing where all the kids are playing and spreading their germs and breathing on each other while I’m drinking wine with my friends. That is not what the last year has looked like. But I do think as we slowly come out of it — whether you’re just starting preschool like I am, and feeling safe enough to do that, or you have friends that are getting vaccinated and you feel safe with the kids now playing outside, or you feel safe again putting your kid on a jungle gym because we now have more information about whether or not it’s spreading on those sorts of surfaces — we’re still questioning a lot. Like, “Is this okay? Are we okay? It’s my job to protect my child.” I feel the trepidation.
VV: And what do you do to help subdue that — or listen to it but not let it overwhelm?
KL: Whenever I get really scared, I look at what the real numbers are. How many kids are getting this? Are they getting sick or really sick? Are there long-term effects? Having legit information, which Katie’s Crib provides, helps me. But then also I like to [metaphorically] hold everyone’s hand if they need to do it more slowly, or even if they’re someone who is like, “Get me out of here, I’m losing my mind!” For my own mental health, there were weekends where the risk-reward was that I had to throw my kid in a playground, even though I wasn’t 100 percent sure it was safe, so that I could have my glass of wine. Like, I just couldn’t do it anymore.
VV: Now the podcast is being released around Mother’s Day. Was that intentional at all?
KL: Of course! It is my Mother’s Day gift to all you mommies out there [laughs] — Katie’s Crib season four, let’s do this! Let’s get a masked massage outside and listen to a podcast; let’s go for a walk and put some earphones in and listen!
VV: What do you want for Mother’s Day?
KL: I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I did ask for a Fitbit because I like to put on another mom podcast and go for a walk, and I’m at that point where my daughter is 5 months old, and so I probably should get back on it, you know?
VV: What parenting podcasts do you listen to?
KL: I like Mama Said with Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Janet Lansbury’s Unruffled. I listen to a lot of mom podcasts to hear what’s out there to make sure I’m giving you guys the goods. But back to what I want [laughs]. I’m making sure I’m really thinking about this because I’m going to tell my husband. [long pause] I would like a massage outside in a mask. But you know what I really want? I want to f---ing sleep in. I wake up at 5:30 a.m. no matter what day of the week it is, and I’m sick of it. I want a morning off. I want to luxuriously just be in my bed without anyone coming in. I do not want my children to bring me breakfast in bed. Who came up with that being the romantic reward? Like, get outta here!
VV: Exactly. You know some husband was like, “Oh, I know how to turn this around ...”
KL: And also, who wants breakfast in bed? Because there are going to be crumbs, and guess who’s cleaning that up? Me.
VV: Amen. Now, something you have talked about in your podcast in previous seasons is postpartum depression. And you’ve recently struggled with it. Can you tell us about that experience?
KL: Yes. I got diagnosed with postpartum depression when Vera was 6 weeks old. It was hell on Earth. And I fell for every trap. I mean, I have this podcast, and we’ve done episodes on postpartum depression, and, even as I was going down, I thought about Alanis Morissette’s episode and how she said, and all her specialists said, “You can’t muscle through this.” And even still, I was like, “I got this. I can muscle through. I got this.” I talked to a psychiatrist, and she said I had severe postpartum depression — my OB, my therapist, they called in a prescription medication, and I still didn’t drive to pick it up because I thought, “Give me another week. I got this. It’s just my hormones. Everything’s going to even out.” Let me tell you ... no. I needed help. I needed intervention, and I was not going to be able to claw my way out of it on my own. So, yes, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety.
VV: And how are you doing now?
KL: Great! I feel like myself, and I didn’t feel like myself for a very long time. And, if I’m honest with you, I don’t think I felt like myself the entire end of my pregnancy either. I think I had what’s called perinatal depression and perinatal anxiety, but there was so much mixed in with Covid fear and being isolated. Being pregnant in a global pandemic, having a newborn, and being a mom at all in a pandemic, it’s all unprecedented. I needed help, and I hope that these episodes can help anyone else who’s struggling because what I’ve learned is we do not have to struggle like that.
VV: So, were there any reservations about sharing your struggles with postpartum depression publicly?
KL: Maybe for like a minute. But it would have felt so inauthentic to be hosting a mom podcast if I wasn’t being completely honest with all of you about my pregnancy, my labor, and my experience postpartum. That would be bizarre.
VV: What’s your one, main piece of advice now that you’re on the other side of it?
KL: Ask. For. Help. Okay? In every way, shape, form, if you are struggling mentally, if you are struggling with childcare, if you are struggling with, like, getting a bite to eat, taking a shower, ask for help. I think women innately just feel like we got this, we can do it on our own, and you can’t. You definitely cannot. And this is why we spend a lot of vulnerable time with my Katie’s Crib community, explaining all the stigmas that I fell for and all the traps, and also how I dug myself out of it and how grateful I am to the network of friends, family, science, and modern medicine. You just have to ask for it.
Valentina Valentini is a London-based entertainment, travel, and food writer and also a Senior Contributor for Shondaland. Elsewhere she has written for Vanity Fair, Vulture, Variety, Thrillist, Heated, and The Washington Post. Her personal essays can be read in the Los Angeles Times, Longreads, and her tangents and general complaints can be seen on Twitter at @ByValentinaV.
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